Motivate Me

     I find my first instinct is to apologize, yet again, for my lapse in posting. While I will fully disclose that I have felt some culpability in deferring writing, I just as quickly admit to frustration at being regulated by a self-imposed deadline.

     In layman’s terms, it’s my blog and I’ll post when I want to.

     Bangkok has been pretty much the same. I had a nice holiday and I’m looking forward to 2012.  The weather is hovering around high 80's. And that's winter! I’ve been spending time everyday learning Thai. Whew…what a language. There are 44 consonants and half as many vowels. I do love my Roman alphabet. However, I refuse to let my laziness keep me from learning as much as possible. Now the issue is motivation.

    Motivation. What a merciless creature! You either have it or you don’t. And let me stop those of you that would say one could have a small measure of motivation; certainly you’re aware that is just a way of saying you’re trying to be motivated and pretending at it until, or even if, the mood decides to strike you. Don’t mistake me, motivation is indeed a blessing to its twin curse of not being inspired. Though, when you are dealing with the better sibling, then you have to contend with its cousin follow-through. Who among us doesn’t stand on the front lines with one or all of those relatives?

     My aim while in Bangkok, though, is to become a master strategist and try to decipher how to make them work for me instead of in opposition.

    What motivates You? What spurs you to action? What, in your life, compels you to achievement?

     It could be any number of things. For my part, the catalyst generally lies within me: the desire to improve myself or feel worthy. Humility aside, I think that’s the only real reason to take action. While changing yourself for another person sounds incredibly noble, its logic falters. History is full of incidents wherein someone tries to measure up to another’s ruler and inevitably falters at some point or another. Set goals for yourself and then work to fulfill them because You want to. If you want to be a better person for another that’s all well and good but find your raison d'être from within. That way, when you meet your aspiration or don’t, then you will have only yourself to be accountable to, and you will be all the more sated when you achieve whatever you were after. My two cents, anyway.

     As to what I’ve been up to…work. Nadia is learning at a wonderful speed. She is so bright and imitates something new each day. Lately, she has taken to a phrase that she hears regularly throughout the day-‘all done’. After each meal, bath or task I will say or ask, ‘All done?’  I should preface this with the fact that the kid despises getting her hair washed. Well, now after the first of her bath, like clockwork, she will look at me with baleful, pitiful eyes begging “All done?” Poor kid. That only serves to illustrate how intelligent she is.

     I’m enjoying watching her bloom socially. It’s quite common for children her age to be a bit reclusive and shy. I get the privilege to watch her gently reach out socially and interact with other children. During playgroup on Wednesday, she was very outgoing, singing and even playing with other children. I feel more and more that I definitely do not have a wallflower on my hands. Knowing that I’m aiding in shaping her social skills for the rest of her life is no small order but it also makes me very grateful. I get to be a part of that. That’s pretty cool.